As a Christian, I don’t like to think of anyone as being
beyond redemption. The White House’s current occupant, however, presents a bit
of a challenge to this ideal. But it is not an unsurmountable one.
The Donald, just as anyone, could conceivably have a
conversion experience. But what then? A conversion means a true turning away
from one’s past indiscretions. The Donald would need a neck brace for such
turning. The church in medieval Europe knew what to do with deposed tyrants,
pretenders to the throne, and other royals who had grown too big for their
noble britches. Such were banished to monasteries or nunneries, to live the
remainder of their days in acts penance and contemplation.
That is what The Donald (now Brother Donald) would need to
show true contrition. Exile in a monastery. A distant monastery. Without wi-fi,
helicopters, or a golf course. In a cell hewn from stone. The location,
location, location? Er…. Not central; rather, the monastery’s furthest borough
from fellow monks and the dining hall. There he could better focus on working
out his redemption.
Vocational work is part of the monastic experience. The type
varies by the monks’ ability. The intellectuals write, theologize, translate
texts. Clearly Brother Donald would not be suited for this. While God can
change one’s heart, the brain is another organ entirely. And the Great Jehovah
is not the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz. So Brother Donald would be best
suited for other work to keep his tiny and newly pious hands busy. He is good
at salesmanship, we must give him that. However, the abbot would have to clear
any sales presentations for honesty and integrity. OK, so that option is out.
Simple, manual labor it is, then.
Regardless, the rest of us could move on while Brother
Donald toils quietly, to tweet no more.
Here ends this revenge fantasy of a church history nerd.
